How to Figure out Your Fucking Life Through Sitting on the Fucking Couch

Disclaimer: This article uses the word “fuck” reoccuringly. As a writer I usually don’t do this, but I thought what the fuck this deserves some extra passion.

Today I meditated. And I did it completely wrong. But that’s not the point.

I realize to some of you this may sound odd, maybe too unusual compared to your own daily activities. But we all meditate throughout our days, even if not enough. Whether you go for a run, listen to your favorite song, or lay down in a field of grass. When your mind is not racing, when you are focusing on something specific or the experience at hand, you are meditating.

I started meditating the traditional way last Spring (cushion, almost-but-not-criss-cross-applesauce sitting). There was a sitting group at my university that I somehow stumbled upon, probably because I grew fairly interested in the concept of mindfulness. We learned in several psychology courses that mindfulness was beneficial in almost every way: emotionally, physically, mentally. So I started. And then I left the university to visit home, and then left the entire country to live in Sweden. And as you can probably guess, I stopped meditating.

So I did it today, just for kicks. Half because I want to get back into it for my own good, half because I wanted to light some incense (which smells amazing by the way, better than your average scented candle).

Sitting there in the quiet, becoming completely relaxed in my own little space, my mind started jumping from thought to thought. Pause: If you have never meditated before, this isn’t exactly the goal of meditation, rather you are supposed to let the thoughts go and appreciate the present moment (or whatever you are attempting to meditate on, maybe being nicer to the people around you, a piece of chocolate cake, even a salad if you’re into that kind of stuff). However, this time I let my mind run its course, meditating on the nature of what it came up with. And the path it took surprised me.

I thought of the things I love, the projects I want to complete, and the passions I want to pursue. I thought of everything that inspires me in this incredible-mundane-stimulating life that I don’t usually have the time to think about. Everything I subconsciously suppress when I’m checking off tasks from my mental to-do list or studying subjects that sound smart but appear to be painstakingly vague.

And that’s when I realized that I don’t give my thoughts enough time to make sense. Everyone nowadays says that they “think too much”, but fuck that. If everyone thought too much that would mean everyone was a thoughtful person, and all of our world issues would be solved by now. The problem is that we don’t give ourselves enough time out of the day to actually pay attention to what goes on in our heads. We work work work, run around as if we’re the lead characters in the newest superhero movie, and only pay attention to the shallow thoughts that tell us how we’re feeling: happy, okay, sad, upset, anxious, stressed. The wholler thoughts are there, but we don’t actually think them through.

And you would be surprised what happens when you do. You would be surprised what sense of clarity comes with sitting on the damn couch or laying on the damn sidewalk and letting your mind take action while your body rests. You refocus on what you actually give a fuck about: the people in your life, the passions you forgot you had, the undefinable sense of purpose you somehow know is there.

We spend so much time trying to figure things out through our actions: the next job, the next assignment, the next project, the next party. Even if the things we spend so much time doing fail to give us any answers, we keep doing them in some assumption that they’re getting us closer and closer. But if we just stopped, and ironically smelled the roses, our thoughts could center. And we could see what we already know, but too often forget.

Most of the time we know what we need and want to do. We know what will help us as an individual in terms of our past-present-future. But instead we do something else, or we put it off because we “don’t have time”.

And I’m telling you, sitting the fuck down and taking a look at what you already know and believe in will help you refocus and motivate you to make the time. Once you refocus, you’re there. Everything amazing about your beautiful fucking life is just within reach. The next step is getting up off the fucking couch and doing whatever the fuck you need to do. Wholeheartedly folks, because this should be what you’re passionate about. Don’t treat it like the dude at Subway treats your no-longer-$1.00 footlong sandwich. Start living your life and doing the things you do with your physical self and that little squishy thing called your brain, or mind, or soul, or whatever (the fuck) you want to call it. Because that organ of soft nervous tissue is the best part of your physiology, and we should all start paying more attention to it.

Article in summary: Give yourself some time to think. Just because your mind is yours doesn’t mean you can neglect it.

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Moments made of people and places, brilliant and ordinary. ↹ Planet Earth, Milky Way

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